A couple of days ago I was walking down Columbia NW when a Hispanic man who was probably in his 40′s hollered something vaguely complimentary at me as he leaned up against a fence on his bike. I muttered something back, probably “Thanks buddy,” or something similar and continued on my way.
This kind of exchange is hardly unusual. I’ve noticed that catcalling is rampant in DC. I usually just smile, mumble something in reply and keep moving. I’ve never felt so desirable in my life! A lot of girls I know get really upset by this kind of behavior, but most of the time I don’t let it bother me. I don’t really see any reason to unless the dude says something overtly offensive or crosses the line in some way.
The man I mentioned before definitely crossed the line though. Like I said, I walked away from the guy. Next thing I know, the guy is pedaling slowly next to me trying to game me into going to his apartment. He kept on saying in Spanglish that it was cold outside and that I should come warm up in his apartment. I tried to speed up, but the guy didn’t take a hint and pedaled faster. I slowed down and he did as well.
That’s when I “flipped the bitch switch,” like David Cross so eloquently put it as Ronnie Dobbs in the movie, “Run Ronnie Run.”
I snapped on the sleazebag. I told him, in his native language, that I was not stupid and OF COURSE I realized it was cold outside. I mean, did he think that the parka, scarf and gloves I was wearing were simply a fashion statement? I also added that his mother made a mistake when she had him and that he was un perro feo, or an ugly dog.
Needless to say, the guy went ahead and moseyed across the street and I didn’t see him again. But, the incident made me think. Did he follow me because I declined to get my panties in a twist about his intial, presumptuous remarks? Should I have mean mugged him instead of just mumbling a reply?
To quote another of my cinematic heroes, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
I know there are a lot of ladies out there who are deeply offended by catcalling. They have banded together through blogs like Holla Back NYC and Don’t Be Silent here in DC. Holla Back NYC has inspired Holla Back blogs all over the country and I think it’s pretty funny that they take pictures of offenders with camera phones and post the pics on the sites.
But, I just don’t let it get to me. I take it as a compliment and I move on with my life. Why get all worked up and ruin a pleasant walk because some slimeball finds you attractive and lacks the rhetorical skill to express that in a respectful manner?
My patience does have boundaries, though. Do not follow me, do not outline any particular sexual fantasy you would like to fulfill with me, take NO for an answer the first time and, most of all, DO NOT TOUCH ME.
Follow those simple rules and I will not be forced to embarrass you in front God and country. Stay on the correct side of these lines I have drawn and I will take your catcalling for what it is; an honest, juvenile and pathetic as it may be, compliment to my astounding beauty.
Some extracurricular reading for those of y’all who are looking for extra credit:
