The inaugural revelers have started to descend upon the fair District of Columbia. I have gotten stopped more than usual by people asking for directions to tourist-y stuff and the pile-up of traffic that usually happens outside my window on Columbia NW started hours earlier than usual. Estimates have run from one to four million people coming to watch history TV and I have some house guests of my own that should arrive late tomorrow night.
It is colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra and I certainly hope all these people plan to huddle together and generate some wicked body heat because it doesn’t look like the high temperature is going to rise much above freezing in the Washington Metro area. It’s 16 degrees outside right now and I’m working on some rowdy windburn on my face.
Once my friends arrive there will be very little rest for the weary. We’re planning on hitting up the We Are One concert at the Lincoln Memorial. It’s crazy how much awesome talent is going to be on that stage. I’m especially excited to see Stevie Wonder, Herbie Hancock, will.i.am, John Legend, Mary J. Blige and James Taylor. That’s more than enough reason to choke back how much I despise Bono. PLUS, Queen Latifah is going to do a reading! It’s supposed to snow that day, but hopefully it won’t interfere with the extravaganza!
In ridiculously stupid moves made by local governmental bodies…
The District of Columbia has decided to allow bars and restaurants to apply for a permit to serve booze for extended hours this weekend and all the way through Tuesday. Cool. SO let’s pack a couple of million tourists in, allow them to drink until it doesn’t feel cold inside and let the wander the District of Columbia. I can just see a couple of fanny pack wearing midwesterners stumbling into Northeast Washington. Sounds like a smashing idea, right? I live close to drunk and stumble central in the District, so myself and my compadres will be treated to the march of the belligerent until the break-a break-a dawn outside my window. But if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Right?
But, at least the District took human waste disposal seriously. Conrad Harrell of port-a-potty supplier Don’s Johns told Fox 5 that he would be helping make history alongside our future POTUS, Barack Obama.
“This is the largest temporary restroom event in the history of the United States.”
Apparently there will be 5,000 port-o-johns at our disposal. Let’s hope that’s enough.
So, hopefully DC is prepared. If not, it’s going to be a hell of a mess. I’ll let y’all know either way here soon.
If there is one thing I’ve learned from every event I’ve ever attended, it’s that there can never be too many port-o-johns.